From the moment a woman finds out she is pregnant there is a progressive and constant change. The body begins to adapt and the most amazing things occur. Our hormones, moods, relationships with ourselves and the world around us shifts significantly. This is a a three part blog entry about my journey through the changes of pregnancy from the perspective of a yoga lifestyle and an expecting first time mom.
I remember so clearly that moment when I took a home pregnancy test and saw the positive sign. My heart hit the floor and anxiety went through the roof. Something I so craved and wanted was finally here! Holy crap, I felt such a unique a combination of amazement, gratitude and wonder!
Those next few weeks seemed to pass slowly. I was hit with so many different emotions and challenges. Symptoms ranged from morning sickness (which is different for everyone), intense sense of smell, nausea, soreness and extreme fatigue. The first trimester to put it bluntly was exhausting, happy and filled with nervousness about what was to come.
As a soon-to-be mom, I began to notice that although you have influence over the pregnancy experience you are ultimately not in control of your body, baby and birth. The illusion (maya) of having control over this journey can cause a lot of suffering for pregnant woman. Expecting moms worry constantly about everything from the health of the baby to how our relationships/career/body/finances are going to change. Truth is, things are going to play out in some way and life could be all the more peaceful if we all found a way to embrace it.
One of the parts of this experience that has been hard for me is the change in my yoga practice. As a yogini, my life is devoted to yoga in it's many forms. I've worked for over a decade to be proficient in postures, breathing techniques, chanting, meditation and philosophy. As the months continue and the baby grows, elements of my daily practice have become inaccessible. My beloved fire building nauli kriya practice is not safe. Prone backbends which had brought me such great comfort are no longer an option. I miss laying on my stomach terribly and this pregnant body I experience is different. It is amazing in so many ways and constantly surprising me. Although my mind knows the incredible gift I'm carrying, a part of me longs for the way I used to practice yoga.
In the Yoga Sutras (a text providing wisdom on yoga philosophy) one of the ways to reduce your suffering is to engage in a consistent devoted practice and cultivate non-attachment. Non-attachment in this context means to be unattached to what happens not indifferent. The way the mind works is to create desire, so it is not possible to be free of desire. We can however shape our thoughts and actions to desires which promote inner peace. In this way, I can choose to appreciate my body for it's capacity to nourish life and adapt, celebrate this healthy growing baby and honor what my needs and hopes are during this journey. From my limited perspective in the middle of my second trimester, It seems that pregnancy is the ultimate lesson in letting go and non-attachment.
In the words of Pattabhis Jois, "Practice and all is coming."
Keri Marino is an internationally Registered Yoga Teacher, Yoga Therapist and Propmaker. She owns and operates Yoga Unique offering Yoga Therapy, Classes, Workshops and Yoga products. It is her mission to empower others to have improved quality of life through the practice of Yoga!
I'm a Yoga Therapist, Teacher & Mama Bear who is all in on mindful authentic living. This blog is a collection of my passion for all things yoga, nutrition, health and cooking. Subscribe to the blog for monthly goodies delivered right to your email!